Barking Mad Stories

Write or email us your stories, our favourite will be displayed here each month for Waggers customers to enjoy.

Email click here: ask@waggers.co.uk

Hi Waggers,

My Father was a Commander in the Royal Navy. He emigrated to South Africa, to Simonstown which is a large Naval Base and which was used extensively during WW2.

There was a Great Dane “based” there during the war, which became a favourite of the visiting sailors. And for various “bureaucratic reasons”, along with the wishes of said sailors, had to be given a Naval Rank.

My Father sent me a book on the subject: “Just Nuisance AB” by Terence Sisson, which I read about the same time as I was trying to find a use for some lyrics I’d written, relating to the death of my Alsatian.

Nuisance’s “job” was to go with the sailors into the town when they were “on leave” or “Liberty” as the Navy called it – and then he ensured that they made it back to the train station and ultimately back to the base, after their inevitable heavy drinking sessions. http://www.simonstown.com/tourism/nuisance/nuisance.htm is a good place to search for further info about Nuisance.

Somehow, the AB Nuisance story and the lyrics that I’d written, just fitted together and became a complete song.
I won’t inflict the “very demo” version of the song on you via a sound file. But I’d like to share the lyrics with you:

A.B. JUST NUISANCE

Drunk in charge of an ocean barge
Giving it large ‘round the old shipyards
Of Simonstown
Seven bell liberty R’NR
Salary shot in an all-night bar
In 15 rounds
4 AM got to get on a train
Sea-legs don’t work, can’t remember my name
I’ve run aground
If I’m listed as late I’ll be hauling keel
Painting the grass or potato peel
Must find the hound

--------------------

I’ll guide you to the station
Wake you at your destination
All that I ask is three squares and a bed
Listen to your drunken stories
Revel in your made-up glories
Carry you home
Tuck you in
Nurse your head

And on parade at daybreak
I’ll make sure we’re turned-out ship-shape
Caps squared away and with spring in our step
And when they call “Stand Easy”
As the last notes of Reveille
Sound
I am a happy hound
And with my duty done

I’m making sail for home
Where there’s warmth and a bone
I can hear my friends calling my name
If you’re still hearing me
In the wind through the trees
And the rustling leaves
I’m alive and I’m still running free........

--------------------

And believe we shall be reunited in time
Reunited to run once again
Across the field out the back
Through the gate, down the track
Through the meadows and trees
And the rustling leaves
Where I’m home...........

.....For Ben, Gelert, Scrumpy, Rama, Shen, Scruffy, Bosun, Captain, Lubbox, Tapper, Oscar, Sam, Parker, Snorts, Bluey, Rocky, Noppy, Wendy’s Dog, Thorin, Bobby, Bruno, Becky, Sweetpea...
...and for Sasquatch my cat (who used to walk around the field with Gelert, Scrumpy, and myself).

Regards,

Louis.

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Barking Mad Stories